Staring
by InvisibleMoony
Summary: Of murdering teddys, Sirius' silliness, Remus ability to argue about these silly things, and staring. Lots of staring. A dialogue.


A/N: Hello there! This is just a little dialogue thing I wrote some time ago...I figured it was time to publish it ^^ Any mistake you find is my fault because I don't have a beta and I'm to lazy to proof-read more than once xD

Warnings: Slash (I guess?), established relationship between Remus and Sirius, don't like don't read.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything you might recognize, such as characters, places and so forth. Anything Harry Potter related does belong to the amazingly talented JK Rowling, and Warner Bros and some other people that are not me.

Enjoy! And leave a review, pretty please?

Staring

„It´s staring at me."

„What?"

„It. Right there. It´s staring at me."

„It´s a teddy bear. How can a teddy bear stare at you?"

„I don´t know, but this one is doing it. It stares with its creepy black button eyes."

„Like I said before: Teddy bears can´t stare. They are not alive enough to do so."

„Aha! But they are alive to an extent, so that means they can stare!"

„No, Sirius, that´s not..."

„This one wants to eat me, I´m sure of it! It just waits until I´m asleep so it can touch my chaste body with it´s filthy paws and, after it stole my virginity, it will choke me to death with my pillow, just to drag my lifeless body to the lake to destroy all evidence of it´s horrible murder! Moony, I don´t want to end up in the stomach of the giant squid!"

„Okay, now you are just being dramatic. And how can a teddy bear steal someones virginity?"

„I have now idea, Remmy, but this teddy bear can do it, I can see it in his eyes!"

„In the plastic balls sewn to it´s head, you mean?"

„Yes, those exactly! I always had a gift for divination, you now?"

„No, you don´t, Pads, you just always make up some tragic romance story where someone dies and get Os for it. That´s not a gift for divination, you just have a gift for not doing homework properly and getting good grades. And anyways, do you really just said you are a virgin?"

„Okay, maybe the teddy won´t steal my virginity, you stole it already, but it will rape me and feed me to the giant squid! You are my boyfriend, you should defend my honour...or something!"

„Or something... okay, Sirius Black, this is the first and only time I tell you this, this teddy bear will not rape you and then throw you into the lake! How could it possibly lift a heavy guy like you anyway?"

„Oh, so now you´re saying that I´m fat?"

„No, Sirius, I didn´t say..."

„Alright, maybe things will be better for both of us if the teddy just kills me, but you could have said that you want to break up with me in a different way!"

„Merlin, I don´t want to break up with you, where do you even get these ideas from? Who will I be snogging if we break up?"

„Oh, I got it from the Witch Weekly Evans left here, there was a quiz, „Does your boyfriend want to break up with you?" and..., okay that´s not the point! And you could always go snogging Moaning Myrtle or something!"

„First, I´m gay, and second, you can´t snog ghosts, Sirius!"

„How would you know? Did you try it or what? Are you cheating on me?"

„Are you stupid or something? No, I´m not cheating on you with Myrtle!"

„Oh, so now it´s Myrtle, isn´t it? I knew it! I saw the attraction between the both of you the first time we went there so we could draw the room on the map!"

„This is getting ridiculous!"

„So now I´m ridiculous? I´ll tell you something, I...mmmh, Remus,...don´t...think...mmh...you can...ahh..distract me with...ooh...snogging!"

„Mmmh...but that´s my...plan..."

„...Ohh, right there...mmh, promise... you won´t break up with me?"

„...Promise..."

„And...ahh...promise the teddy...ohh, won´t kill me?"

„...Mmh,...scoot over...yes, I promise..."

„Good..."

„Whose Teddy is that...mmmh...anyways?

„It´s...oh...Evans´"

„WHAT? THAT´S LILY`S TEDDY? GIVE IT TO ME SO I CAN BUILD A SHRINE FOR IT!"

„Oh, get off Prongs!"

„WHY DO YOU HAVE MY TEDDY, POTTER? DID YOU STEAL IT, YOU STALKER?"

„Uhm, of course not, Lily-flower,uhm, you see...IT WAS ALL SIRIUS FAULT!"

„It was NOT my fault! It was Moony´s fault!"

„I´m sorry Lily, but Sirius needed the Teddy as an excuse to snog me...again!"

„I´ll never understand how you two go from arguing about my teddy killing Black to snogging...this is the third time this week! Search yourself something other to snog about!"

„Wait, my love, I´ll escort you to the common room!"

„GET AWAY FROM ME POTTER!"

„..."

„...Remus..."

„Yes?"

„James´ broom is staring at me."


End file.
